and you said cock pushups were impossible
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
