moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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