I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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