Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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