Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
