dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
