3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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