Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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