I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
