it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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