I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
