super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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