Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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