whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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