sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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