you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
