So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
