So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
