I just made out with a guy for $7.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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