I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
