I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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