no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
