His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
