cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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