You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
