69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
