Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
