i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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