oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
