its not stalking. its research.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
