They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
