He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
