i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
