The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize