Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize