I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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