Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
