I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
