Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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