you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
