Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize