But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
