if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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