remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
