Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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