Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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