i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's never too late to be topless.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
