The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
