boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
