Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
