Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
