Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
the raccoons are back...
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