I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
