So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
