i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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