You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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